Speed dating has been around since the late nineties and continues to be an excellent way to meet potential romantic matches. It was invented by a Jewish Rabbi who had the intentions of helping young Jewish singles meet and marry. Some people insist that this new found version of dating is tacky and desperate while others proclaim it’s the perfect way to meet a lot of eligible singles interested in a relationship at once. Since there are so many mixed feelings about speed dating, we dove into some research and put together a list of pros and cons for all of you considering trying it out.
1. It’s almost over.
Unlike traditional dates that can drag into hours, speed dating guarantees that you’ll only be talking to one person for 5-10 minutes. This is ideal for when you’re talking to a total dud or complete jerk- you just have to remind yourself it’s ending super soon. You don’t have to suffer for long, no matter how attractive or obnoxious they might be. If this situation happened at a regular date over dinner, you would have to put on your brave face and suffer for the next hour or so. Basically, you’re wasting a lot less time on the bad people. Also, if you’re someone that gets social anxiety about awkward pauses and bad conversations, then this is ideal for you because you don’t have enough time to have this happen.
2. Everyone is there for the same reason.
This is a point that should really ease your nerves: everyone is there for the same reason as you. Everyone is single and interested in meeting new potential romantic interests. Basically, everyone is in the same boat; you’re not alone. It’s not like you’re walking into a random bar where half the people are in relationships, the other half are looking for a one night stand, and 3 out of the 50 people actually want a relationship. At speed dating events, you’re all on the same page, which should make you feel calm and confident.
3. Variety is the spice of life.
If you’re someone with a very particular taste in men or women, speed dating might not be ideal for you. But if you like meeting a wide range of individuals with different physical qualities, careers, interests, and life views, then you’re in the right spot. There’s such a wide variety of men and women at these events that you’re bound to meet a few that you’re intrigued by. And even if you walk out not interested in anyone, at least, you had an interesting and social night off of your couch.
4. You’re putting yourself out there.
At the end of the day, speed dating is better than sitting on your couch, alone and single with a glass of wine and some Netflix. You’re not going to meet anyone if you don’t put yourself out there. Even if this modern way of meeting a partner is out of your comfort zone, you’re still, at least, trying to meet someone instead of being a poor sport at home.
1. It’s not for everyone.
Regular old dating can work for just about everyone in modern society, but the same can’t be said for speed dating. Some people just can’t dig the vibes of talking to 10-15 people on one date. For some, it’s too overwhelming. For others, it’s too impersonal. Maybe you’re an introvert or a skeptic. Whatever the reason, this form of dating is certainly not one size fits all. Some people simply can’t get into it.
2. Not enough time.
While some people might consider the short amount of time spent with each person is a good thing, for others it’s quite the opposite. You’re given 5-10 minutes to figure out the person well enough to know whether or not you want to pursue them. There’s obviously a lot of pressure that comes with that strict time limit because you’re scrambling to ask all the important questions on your mental list. No matter how great the conversation is, it’s hard to find out exactly who the person is in that short allotted time. It’s simply unrealistic and honestly encourages you to be bias based on physical attraction. When you’re given such a short period to get to know a group of people, at the end of it you’re probably just going to go for the best-looking people.
3. It’s competitive.
Unfortunately, the amount of people who are at a given speed dating event can make you feel competitive and even insecure. When you take a look around, you can’t help but size up the other daters as your opponents in a dating game. This could even make you start feeling insecure because you’re comparing yourself to all of the other people there. Even if you walk away from a person feeling great about your conversation and feeling interested in pursuing your connection, they could have had an even better connection with someone else. It’s a huge guessing game that could potentially leave you feeling worse than when you got there, especially if you’re a naturally insecure person.
4. You might not be getting the cream of the crop.
Are we stereotyping here? Yes, but one of the more classic and obvious cons is the fact that the people who attend might be social misfits of sorts. People who don’t do well in regular social settings or have a hard time getting far in the dating game are usually the first people to sign up for a speed dating event. Bluntly put, eligible people usually don’t have to resort to speed dating. That means that the people who do end up at an event could be desperate and undesirable.